


weight off his shoulders

by badlesbian



Series: let's be honest with each other (there's some things we always knew) [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, brotherly affection!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 05:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12647412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badlesbian/pseuds/badlesbian
Summary: the first in a series about ed coming out to the people he loves the most





	weight off his shoulders

**Author's Note:**

> this is partly based off one of my own experiences coming out, but ed's is exponentially better
> 
> also there's no shipping in this, it's just two brothers who love each other platonically! PLEASE don't be a freak

The two of them were in their hotel room, winding down after a long day on the hunt for clues. Ed reclined on the bed, having already changed into his sleepwear, and Al sat on the floor, resting his back against the wall. It was a small room, so there wasn’t much else for a person as large as him to be - not that he minded much. It was a great comfort to be close to his brother at night, even if he couldn’t fall asleep himself.

Al broke the comfortable silence that had settled between them. He had been working up the courage all night to bring this up, and it finally seemed like a good moment.

“Brother, can I ask you something?”

Ed looked up from the book he’d been balancing on his knees. “Of course, Al. What’s up?”

“Are you...have you...” He sighed. He didn’t know how to say this without it sounding like an accusation. But Ed kept looking at him expectantly, so he continued as best he could.

“I’ve...never seen you with a girl before. I’ve never even seen you look at girls, it’s like you’re trying to avoid them. And I just worry...are you avoiding dating because you feel guilty that I can’t?”

Ed looked extremely uncomfortable.

“It’s fine if you just don’t want to!” Al fumbled, waving his hands in front of himself wildly. “I mean. I just. You’re almost sixteen, it’s normal for you to want to start dating and stuff. I don’t want you to miss out on that because of me.”

Ed was silent for a long time, staring off to the side and picking anxiously at his sleep pants. Al felt awful. He had clearly been wrong and embarrassed him, or gotten it right and made him feel guilty by calling him on it. He was about to speak up to apologize and change the subject when Ed looked up at the ceiling and started to answer.

“You know I feel guilty about doing things you can’t do, Al. I used to feel so bad about eating in front of you that I just wouldn’t do it, remember?” He laughed a little at the memory. Dumb kid.

“You fainted in the middle of sparring, I thought I had really hurt you!” Al exclaimed, not finding the recollection quite as funny. “I was so worried, and Pinako kept saying you would be fine, but -”

“I know, I know, I know. I’m sorry,” Ed said, waving a hand in Al’s general direction. “I know I really scared you, and I’m sorry to bring it up again. I just mean, I’ve changed, you know? I’ve gotten way better about doing things like that, like eating and sleeping, even though I feel bad that you can’t. And I know you’d get really mad at me if I started doing it again. So I guess my answer is no, that’s not why.”

Al sat for a moment, processing this information. “Then why don’t you look at girls? Are you just too focused on the Philosopher’s Stone?”

Ed turned his gaze back to the wall on his left and went back to picking at his pajamas, twice as aggressively as before. He didn’t just look uncomfortable anymore, he looked...nervous. Almost scared.

What was his brother scared to tell him?

“Ed, you know you don’t have to explain it if you don’t want to,” Al told him softly, wishing he could get up and comfort his brother without making a complete racket.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ve just, um.” Ed finally looked up at him, letting out a shaky laugh, running his automail hand through his loose hair. “I’ve never told anyone about this.”

“Brother?”

“Well, I’ve never had a girlfriend because I don’t...like girls. I mean I like girls, Winry’s cool and stuff, and Lieutenant Hawkeye is a girl and she’s really nice. Woman. Whatever. But I..." He took a deep breath, let it out in one big huff. "I like guys instead. So."

He looked away, awaiting the impact of his words to land, afraid of the response. But there was no shouting, no disappointed voice, not even an awkward attempt at acceptance. It was quiet, and then he heard Al laughing happily.

He opened his eyes and cracked a grin at the picture before him. “Don’t laugh at me, doofus! I just bared my soul to you! I’m emotionally vulnerable!”

But Al just kept laughing, even as he stood up and walked over to the bed to give Ed a back-breaking bear hug. “I’m so stupid!” he laughed, not letting go despite Ed’s wheezing. “I can’t believe I was so self-centered, of course that’s it.” Heeding Ed’s grumpy protests, Al finally released him, but stayed sitting on the bed, cross legged like they were at a sleepover.

“Does that mean you’ve had _boyfriends_ before?” he teased, making Ed grin and push at his big metal chest. “What boy was good enough for the illustrious _Fullmetal_ -”

“Shut up!” Ed yelled, his big happy smile betraying his attempt at sounding angry. “I have not! And even if I have, I’ll never tell!”

“What about that handsome farmboy back in Resembool, I remember you spending a lot of time following him around, helping him with the chickens...”

“Shut up, shut up!” Ed pounded on the top of Al’s clanky metal head. “Stop talking!”

Al gasped dramatically. “Or Ling! Do you like Ling?”

“Stop it!”

That was the farthest Al got before the two of them dissolved in giggles, Ed uselessly tickling his brother and Al more successfully tickling his. Finally Ed wrestled free and scooted away to lie on the covers again, just out of range of his brother’s tickling hands. He was beaming. Al was too, on the inside.

They lay there together for what felt like an hour, soaking in the happy brother energy. It was so nice to see Ed like this, acting like his favorite goofy grumpy brother instead of the all-knowing Adult he so often tried to be for Al. He loved Ed for all he did for him, all he had done to raise him and protect him since their mother died. But he was so relieved to see Ed take some of that weight off his shoulders, just for a while.

Ed was just on the edge of sleep when Al spoke again.

“Thank you for telling me, Ed. I’m really proud of you.”

“Shut up, I’m the older brother. I’m the one who’s supposed to be proud of you.”

“We can both be proud of each other,” Al replied peacefully. “And right now I’m proud of my brother who is very cool and talented and also gay.”

And if there were tears in Ed’s eyes, well, it was too dark for anyone to tell.


End file.
